Breaking News

Doom makes kids happy this Christmas

In a bold move by Doom Co. Co-Founder Clark Kent announced today that Doom will be giving away free one year memberships to the Cheese of the Month club. It is believed this decision came because of the recent bad press surrounding the announcement, by Doom, to an orphanage into a printing press. Neither CEO, Clark Kent or Steve Rogers, could be reached for comment. But it will surely be a merry Christmas this year as every issue released in December will contain a membership card and free sample of this months cheese. Mmmm... Gouda.

Freak photographer gets new camera

Staff photographer Peter Parker recently received as "my birthday present early" a new "35mm SLR (still) Camera." We hope this will improve his photography skill, as he has not demonstrated a good deal of it. "Most of his stuff looks like he secured his camera with some sort of sticky substance, then had it automatically snap pictures when Spider-Man moved past the camera. It's all blurry and stuff" said Doom Co-CEO and Publisher Clark Kent. This sentiment was mirrored by Kent's partner, Co-CEO and Editor-in-Chief Steve Rogers, "I'm happy for him about the new camera, but I don't know why we keep him around. I hate him." This news comes amid rumors that Parker has contacted J. Jonah Jameson, publisher of the Daily Bugle, concerning possible freelance work. Parker was quoted as saying, "now I can make extra money selling photos of Spider-Man to the Daily Bugle. I can hardly wait for my Christmas Meat from J. Jonah Jameson!" Whatever that means.

Financier acquires Bugle, sets sights on Doom

New Mexico financier Thomas Firehart has recently acquired controlling interest in the Daily Bugle, formerly owned by publisher J. Jonah Jameson. Reportedly, Jameson will retain his position as publisher. "I'm tired of the negative bias toward Spider-Man," Firehart said of the Bugle's new policy to bias stories about Spider-Man positively, "We're going to show the world what Spider-Man is really about. And while we're at it, we're going after Doom Publishing. Why not clean up their act, too?" Doom officials could not be reached for comment.

Injunction pending, Doom halted

After our announcement yesterday that Doom Co. purchased a local orphanage. Several local churches, community organizations and well respected business owners are today seeking an injunction against us. "Apparently our plans to restore the orphanage to a vintage printing press were not well received." says Kat Grant spokeswoman for Doom. The parties seeking the injunction say that restoring the printing press will take away a crucial facility needed to house the cities orphans. Steve Rogers, Co-Founder of Doom had this to say, "Look this isn't such a bad deal for them. Kids want to read our comics, well this gives them the chance. When another printing press in operation will allow us to lower our costs. And since the kids need a place to stay we'll offer them jobs at the press. Then they can afford to buy our comics at the new lower prices." More on this story as it develops.